Agony Aunt: The Answer To Your Dating Conundrum Can Be Found in the Marty Supreme Universe
If you’ve seen Marty Supreme, then you may be, frankly, concerned, when I say that it offers some pretty interesting ideas for those seeking dating advice. Off the bat, we should clearly state: Marty is neither a good nor exemplary guy.
Second caveat. I told you guys explicitly in the first ever Agony Aunt column:
DNLTM. Do Not Listen To Me.
I’m literally so unqualified, it’s crazy.
Onwards.
Josh Safdie executes a masterclass in writing the character you love to hate – you’ve got to sort of paw through the objective prattishness of Marty as a character, but ultimately the table tennis player’s trip to Japan, overall ‘pursuit of greatness’, and relationship with Rachel all point back to one thing: priorities.
We’re back for another Agony Aunt. And unfortunately for the person who has written in, their question has coincided with me going to see the TRANSCENDENTAL AND EFFERVESCENT DISPLAY OF AMERICAN CINEMA: Marty Supreme.
I enjoyed the media strategy in the run up to the movie. The American production house, A24, rolled their $60 million (budget) [1] dice on dismembering the unfortunate modern-day trait of: nonchalance.
When the press junkets and trailers initially rolled out for this movie, I thought, ‘how seriously should I take this new version of Chalamet?’. Have we witnessed this curly haired, Hell’s Kitchen, soft-boy be corrupted in real time by a 3mm, ‘corroded orange ’ [2] buzz?
Of course, as we’ve come to know (and for those not familiar), the lines between the character, Marty Mauser and the actor, (a generally mild, clever, and lovely) [3] Timothée Chalamet are deliberately blurred for the press buzz of this movie.
The genesis of this narrative I argue can be traced back to the “I’m really in pursuit of greatness” [4] speech Chalamet made at the SAG awards in February last year, almost a year before any whiff of Marty Supreme entered the public consciousness. “I wanna be one of the greats…I know people don’t usually talk like that”, the actor said (as Timothée – not a character). He was dressed in a neon green shirt and leather Chrome Hearts suit [5] (demonstrating a finger-licking continuity to the viciously orange leather Chrome Hearts suit [6] he would wear around a year later, whilst attending the Marty Supreme premier.) Chalamet’s real identity and his Marty Mauser persona has been physically coded into his outfits: but in which case is Chalamet’s pursuit of greatness satirised, and in which case is it earnest?
This is (somewhat) relevant, Reader. A24 wanted to create a body of work representative of anti-culture. In the age of nonchalance and instantaneousness, process and earnestness feel neglected. From a tamer example of Chalamet’s SAG speech, to the garish metaphors of ping pong head entourages [7] and blimps [8]: this film should have you saying “I can’t believe the gall of this all?”. But it should also light a fire under you to: hell, maybe be a little garish? To want success. To get after it. Prioritise yourself, in some shape or form (but I should clearly state: not at the ultimate expense and sacrifice of others, as in this film).
Many, many caveats people.
The recurring word I’m driving at is ‘priority’. So, when a Reader wrote in with a question that hinged on worrying about a guy who’s seemingly noncommittal and away for travel…. Well, that plane ticket to Japan isn’t going to buy itself.
“I’ve been dating a guy for a month but he’s away to travel in the new year. I really like him but this can’t go anywhere. What do I do?”.
A month?
I’ve let cups of tea steep longer than a month.
It’s really not a very long period of time at all. I can’t think anyone or anything that’s cemented itself as deeply serious after a singular standalone month. That may be more of a reflection on me come to think of it.
When someone has their sights set on solo travel, (whether for work or play), and they’ve committed and bought that ticket, a kind thing to do is to let them crack on with it.
Of course, if you’ve been dating someone for a long time, and then they decide to move to another country, that’s incredibly challenging. It requires a lot of compromise and love to bind you all together and, naturally, talks will come up about “should we go together, or should you go alone?”. You may also feel a little like you’ve had the rug pulled out underneath you. Very understandable too.
But in your case, Reader. I think you’re right; it shouldn’t go anywhere. One month is not enough time to form proper feelings over someone who’s packed sticks and has no formal commitment to you.
Here is where we put on our neon shirt and Chrome Hearts suit. We transition from you to Timothée to Marty.
Let’s say you were a version of Rachel, and, say, you dated Marty for only a month, and you asked him “are we doing long distance?”. He would likely reply with a comment about how Rockwell pens should be used in a rather unsavoury manner unto Koto Endo and the wider Japanese community, and THEN he would say,
“You’re just not what I’m focused on right now.”
Marty Mauser, whilst a hyperbolic, cantankerous bastard, has a point. More must play out between the two of you for you to commit to each other. But you also barely know someone after a month – rose tinted glasses are certainly still to hand. It might even get to two months and a day, and then you realise he’s been a putz all along!
And again, I should be clear, Rachel and Marty’s relationship should NOT be the goal. He left her pregnant and alone, she feigned domestic abuse, and with respect, I don’t see them doing an ‘our dream home’ cwtch-y double spread in Architectural Digest any time soon.
Reader, how high you are on someone’s priorities, in part, is symptomatic of
a) the type of relationship you have with them (e.g colleague, friend, lover)
b) the time you’ve spent together (e.g days, months, years)
And so, if you’re not dating this person and he’s out of the picture for now, (fair dos), don’t sweat it. Direct some love, care, attention and devotion towards yourself… lining up perfectly with the new year.
It’s like we planned it!
***
1981: In the year that the Table Tennis World Championships hosted an all-Chinese final, The Clash released the song ‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go’.
This indecision’s bugging me / If you don’t want me, set me free / Well, come on and let me know / Should I stay, or should I go?
Don’t let this person’s presence or absence make up your mind for you. You have your own life going on, and it’s equally as important and profound as anyone else’s, irrespective of if it’s happening at home, or some sunny, shiny, far-flung place….
or ‘Japan’, for that matter.
Reader, get on your neon Chrome Hearts glad rags. You have the opportunity to focus on yourself this new year. What are you pursuing – what do you want to change? You can reconnect with this person when they return from their travels. Or not. You have choice and autonomy and motion, and a humane fire deep inside you. You can be the master of your fate [9] – my God, you’re young and single in your twenties: what a joy!
If I told Marty this it may fall on deaf ears, so I’ll tell you (plural) instead. Amongst 8 billion other people in the world, (and as much as we may like to think it), we are nowhere near special or sacred enough to have a stand alone, singular experience that no one else has ever had too. And so in time, your dating life will be lovely. In far harder circumstances and against far greater odds, it’s worked out for others. You’re going to be absolutely fine – I promise.
***
So, Reader, thank you for writing in. I hope your own pursuit of greatness serves you well this new year. With or without Mr. ‘Japan’.
3 minutes 20 seconds. WE ARE MARTY MAUSER WE ARE MARTY SUPREME. [10]
“It’s an original ball for an original guy.”
Love, AA
References:
[1] Lammers, Tim. ‘Timothée Chalamet’s ‘Marty Supreme’ Gets Streaming Date, Report Says’. Forbes, 14/1/26 https://www.forbes.com/sites/timlammers/2026/01/14/timothe-chalamets-marty-supreme-gets-streaming-date-report-says/
[2] Timothée Chalamet A24 Movie Promo Clip, Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/reels/DSGJCzakZTd/
[3] Timothée Chalamet on Jimmy Fallon clip https://www.tiktok.com/@fallontonight/video/7453135123316362542?lang=en-GB
[4] Timothée Chalamet, SAG Award Acceptance Speech, IMDb, 24/2/25 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/eSs2lDXfWSg
[5] Cheung, Adam, ‘At the SAG Awards, Timothée Chalamet Bob Dylan-ifies the cowboy suit’, GQ, 24/2/25 https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/timothee-chalamet-sag-awards-suit-2025
[6] Allen, Olivia, ‘Kylie and Timothée Throw A Real Curveball Into Couple Style’, Vogue, 9/12/25 https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/kylie-timothee-orange-outfits
[7] ‘See Timothée Chalamet’s jaw-dropping entourage for ‘Marty Supreme’ event’, Page Six, 21/11/25 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0zEUjCXkcQ
[8] Davis, Clayton & Jackson, Angelique, ‘Marty Supreme’ Blimp: How A24’s Marketing Campaign Took Two Variety Reporters Flying High Above Los Angeles’, Variety, 13/12/25 https://variety.com/2025/film/news/marty-supreme-inside-the-orange-blimp-1236606826
[9] Timothée Chalamet for the Los Angeles Times clip https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WB6Ymoln9QA
[10] ‘Timothée_Chalamet_internal_brand_marketing_meeting_MartySupreme_11.08.2025.mp4’, A24, 17/11/25, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wakBARkxqls
