Is Dating Doomed? An Honest Look at Modern-Day Romance

By Kerryann White

It is no secret to anyone, specifically young people, that dating is not quite what it used to be. It only takes a rewatch of The Notebook or a look through pictures of your grandparents in the early stages of their relationship to understand that things have become slightly more complicated. What once looked like candlelit dinners, handwritten letters, constant acts of chivalry and a clear road toward commitment has now been replaced with unread DMs, red flags, mixed signals and murkier rules. In the midst of all this turmoil, it is very tempting to ask: what exactly happened here? 

The App Paradox 

Since Tinder emerged in 2012 with its first mobile dating experience, the sheer number of dating apps have since skyrocketed, each one with the intention to push a revolutionary version of romance. Since 2012, dating apps have now grabbed the attention of over 300 million people worldwide, with 25 million of those people opening their wallets to pay for the premium features ¹.

At first glance, these apps should make the dating world much easier, allowing you to view millions of potential partners and picking the one you believe to be the ultimate match. Unfortunately, the reality is not quite compatible with the intention. Instead of simplifying love,  it has turned it entirely into a numbers game with profile after profile beginning to seem like looking at a carefully curated CV, focused on highlighting the best photos and supposedly charming lines to make you seem the most intriguing. Matches begin to feel transactional and the value of connecting with other human beings fades into an act that feels all too similar to the browsing of a product. 

Not only that, but we also have the dilemma of “choice overload” _². There is another paradox present within the world of dating apps and that would be the issue of having an endless supply of faces to pick and choose from. Instead of empowering users with the advantage of choice, this actually ends up leaving individuals paralysed and unsatisfied. The effect that this has on dating itself is significant, creating a culture of impatience and detachment from deep and genuine connections because matches are disposable and the next option is always waiting for you to easily access. Considering a partner to enter a romantic relationship with begins to boil down to superficial reasons or surface-level traits rather than who you truly have a deeper bond with.  In short, the endless scroll that might feel exciting at first is simply a system that encourages quick judgements and shallow behaviour, chipping away at the patience and openness that true romance requires and making it harder than ever to slow down and completely invest in another person. 

The Rise of the Situationship and the Death of a Clear Label

Here enters a concept that I personally have a rather strong distaste for – the situationship! The Cambridge dictionary took a stab at defining what exactly a situationship is, reading it as “a romantic relationship between two people who do not yet consider themselves a couple but who have more than a friendship” ³. I call it the slow death of commitment in the 21^st century. 

This concept has allowed ambiguity to become the new norm, leaving many couples in a space where you avoid taking part in direct conversations about the future or exclusivity and instead they fall into a complete limbo. Texting with a person may start to feel like you are dating, but frantically avoiding the word “relationship” like it’s the plague leaves things ultimately undefined.  Yes, some may find a lack of labels somewhat liberating, but for others, it’s a cesspool for confusion, insecurity and an unspoken fear of commitment. The hypocrisy of keeping someone close and satisfying that craving for affection whilst also wanting to be totally flexible and free can get incredibly exhausting. 

It’s no coincidence that situationships have flourished alongside today’s extensive hook-up culture, which is particularly present during the university years. Casual encounters are increasingly normalised, making it easier to see why people tend to keep things vague. When intimacy is easily accessed, without much effort or expectation of stability, promising connections and undoubted loyalty to one person just doesn’t foster at the same rate they once might have. 

A Lasting Bit of Hope 

Despite all these frustrations, there are so many people that still want all the love, loyalty and devotion. That’s why we have seen a rise in couple TikTok trends and the romanticisation of ‘slow dating’ online, and even a resurgence of offline dating events where like-minded people can meet without the over-bearing presence of an algorithm. 

The real guide to surviving modern-day dating is to adapt; don’t let the apps consume you, set your own boundaries, focus on authenticity and don’t lose hope. Romance is definitely still evolving and at times it can be very complex and intimidating, but it is far from extinct. 

Sources

1. Curry, D. 2023. “Dating App Revenue and Usage Statistics (2023).” Business of Apps. Available at: https://www.businessofapps.com/data/dating-app-market/
2. Tilburg University. 2021. “Choice Overload in Online Dating: The Effect on Satisfaction and Self-Esteem.” Master’s Thesis, Tilburg University. Available at: https://arno.uvt.nl/show.cgi?fid=161477
3. Cambridge Dictionary. n.d. “Situationship.” Cambridge English Dictionary. Accessed August 24, 2025. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/situationship