How to lose a guy in 10 DMs
By Katie McShane
In the hit 2000s film ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ Andie Anderson (played by Kate Hudson) ‘fake-dates’ Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey, are you sensing a theme?) and tries to goad him into breaking up with her – all in the name of a magazine article on modern dating. Unbeknownst to her, Benjamin is partaking in a bet of his own that he can make any woman fall in love with him. Spoiler warning, though you should, of course, see it coming – the two fall in love (for real) and live happily ever after.
Now it’s clear even to the untrained eye that times have changed in the 22 years (feel old yet?) since the movie release; dating has been forever altered by the introduction of Tinder, DMS, and the low taper fade. In honour of Andie, I have decided to take up the mantle and discover what it takes to date in 2025. Now unlike Andie, I don’t have the time to fake date some guy and until I see a Matthew McConaughey look-alike walking around Belfast, I’m not prepared to make time. Instead, I’ve aptly chosen a more modern research approach – surveying your fellow students. Here are the findings; an updated guide to modern dating and ‘how to’ lose a guy in ten days.
Pique their interest…
In a scene that broke basketball fans’ hearts across the country, Andie forces Ben to get her a drink and miss the game-winning shot revealing that if you don’t want to break up you should probably respect your partner’s interests. The core message is the same for today’s students, if they’re not right for you they’re just not right. One student revealed that when they met their Tinder date. They turned out to be a massive ‘Gym-bro’ – a huge turn-off for them. Honestly, if this happens you should just let them go. If rice and chicken don’t float your boat now – it’s not going to inflate a lifejacket for you when that relationship inevitably sinks.
That being said Andie does turn out to be a major Knicks fan so take this with a pinch of protein powder (not salt – think of the gains), and maybe you’ll learn something new about yourself.
… not yours!
This brings me to my second point: if your Tinder date doesn’t seem too excited when you first mention your workout routine/indie band/edit account, don’t keep going on about it. Remember, when Andie kept loudly talking to Ben in the cinema it ended up with him getting punched in the face. Simply put, repetitive and unwanted conversation is dangerous and can put a swift end to any good date. I would suggest learning more about the other person and finding more mutual grounds for conversation. And if you can’t talk about anything other than your journey into meditation… I would suggest working on yourself before finding love.
Don’t go too ‘all in’
We all know those scenes when Andie redecorates Ben’s apartment and insists they need ‘couples counseling’ after mere days together – the ones that make even the strongest second-hand embarrassment soldiers cover their eyes. The thing is, some things need to be slow – evolution, snails, old people driving, and often the start of relationships. So don’t invite your mother to the first date, don’t stalk them on snap maps, and definitely don’t tell them you love them early on.
Unless, of course, you do love them, in an adorable yet romantic beginning to a story you’ll tell your kids someday. I’m obsessed, seriously, I’m writing my Maid of Honour speech.
In any case, it’s fun and exciting getting to know someone new and I think you should enjoy this stage as much as any other. Even Andie and Ben agree to take it slow when they begin their honest relationship together.
Look, I can’t lie, there’s a lot of conflicting advice in this article. Was this accidental? Of course not, I’m merely making the point that there’s no one way to date or fall in love, and no strict (social) guidelines to follow. So, if you find someone that matches your freak: honey, invite me to the wedding and simply go for it… (just don’t be a creep).
