The Hood: Election Special

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Election fever has hit and the usual miss mash of uninspired drivel have been revealed for the world to see! With nominations closing last Thursday the 2nd floor corridor was eerily quiet! No grand announcement of candidates, no hustle and bustle to get the reports of who’s standing for what and no sign of weeping sabbaticals realising they are on their way out! Did we actually even have an election on the cards? And then it began! As if on cue the #OccupyQUB team reunited to take over the Union! They didn’t even try to hide it…this was nothing more than a Fossil Free Reunion! With of course the token Law student thrown in there for good measure! Sure it wouldn’t be a feasible SU ticket without them!
On the other side of the field we have what can only be described as over enthusiastic doe eyed amateurs. With the eagerness of First Years from Fermanagh hitting The Bot for the first time, I can’t help but cringe at how 3 final year students can love this hovel of a Union so much!
With a surprising number of independent candidates emerging, 4 in total, it’s great to see a group of underdogs the anti-establishment crew can get behind. Though with the usual anti-establishment crew now suddenly lovers of our ticket system does this mean that the lone rangers are actually the careerists claim to care so much about you mangy students? I usually detest these careerist creatures so I’m not quite sure what to do with these conflicting emotions!
What is surprising of course is the obvious split in the current team of second floor in habitants. With this year’s VP Prim and Proper vying to replace Her Majesty of Education it would seem the Republican love child of a non-ticket ticket isn’t all rosy and sweet on the inside. Thought with the sweet sweet smell of unaccountability obviously tempting her next door to stop caring can we really be surprised at such divisions in the camp?
In the Welfare field we have the Independent Purple and Yellow team facing off against the Independent Purple and Yellow team…Original doesn’t seem so original now does it?
And finally we seem to have the spawn of the Cap’n himself, The Nefarious Calvin Black, throwing his hat in the ring for the all new Student Activities Role. A new face for a new role makes sense to me! I for one think he will do a spec-tacular job!
And there we have it! Not a damn thing exciting to report! 5 positions and 12 candidates. Welfare being the most contested with the current officer unexpectedly stepping aside…and there was me thinking the puppies were a way to win votes. And President uncontested…rewards given to those who figure out how they eliminated the competition. Most surprisingly, there is no sign of the Union royalty and her loyal subjects entering into election fever, though who’s to say they won’t resurrect good ol’ RON Campaign.
Now there’s nothing else left to do but to sit back and watch the panic ensue and remember to turn to me, your noble informer for a truly accurate and truthful election coverage. Now to get rid of them all so I can remain your ever faithful, ever lawful Union Overlord! #votehood